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Posts Tagged ‘Bearded Beauties’

Once you have seen it, you cannot unsee it…

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There’s been a sudden upsurge in Google searches on this site for “female dwarf” and “dwarf woman beard”. I guess it’s time for another entry in the (highly) irregular “Bearded Beauties” series.

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I watched Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy over the Christmas break. When I first saw the movies, the ‘silliness’ of Gimli really bothered me. This time, though, I kept thinking: “That would fit right in to Dwarven Glory!”.

So here are some choice quotes relating specifically to dwarf women:

Gimli: It’s true you don’t see many dwarf women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they are often mistaken for dwarf men.

Aragorn (whispering): It’s the beards.

Gimli: And this in turn has given rise to the belief that there are no dwarf women, and that dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground!

…and perhaps one of the strangest lines from the movies:

It’s the Dwarves that go swimming with little, hairy women.

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Dwarf Fortress appreciates beards on ladies… and babies.

(Swiped from Beard: The Accessory)

Bonus LEGO picture in the same vein, with beaded dwarf mother and baby:

For those who arrived here via Google, click here to learn about Dwarven Glory.

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Here is the second entry in my “Bearded Beauties” series, the Dwarven Glory variant of the “Hot Elf Chicks” meme.

It’s actually not a dwarf, but Salma Heyek with a beard. I’m not entirely sure what it’s from, but I figure it’ll work well to sponge random Googlers to the gameblog.

For those who arrived here via Google, click here to learn about Dwarven Glory.

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In a blatant attempt to troll for more site hits, I am starting an irregular series entitled “Bearded Beauties”. (This is of course a Dwarven Glory variant of the “Hot Elf Chicks” meme from last March.)

Shown here is “Elwita”, from the classic AD&D module “Assault on the Aerie of the Slave Lords”. This gorgeous illustration is courtesy of Jeff Dee from 1981.

As an added bonus, here are her minimalist game stats:

  • Elwita. Dwarf Fighter 5 (10,000 XP), AC 2/DR 1 (dwarven plate & magic shield DR 1), MV 6″, HD 5d10+3 (hp 48), magic throwing hammer +2 (lt melee Atk +7, 1d6+2 or lt ranged Atk +7, 1d4+2) or crossbow (med ranged Atk +5, 1d8). At 3’10” and 131 lbs, Elwita is indeed a bearded beauty.

For those who arrived here via Google, click here to learn about Dwarven Glory.

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